On Rumors and Heartbreak

Major breakups change you and change how you view the world around you.

I’m sure most of you are having one of those “No shit!” reactions right now.

But you have to understand, I’ve almost never experienced that before.

Prior to my and my wife’s separation last year, I had only experienced one other serious breakup. And that was back in the mid-90s when I was in 9th grade.

The road I’m walking now finds me doing so with a new lens through which to interpret life. I’m discovering that very familiar movies and characters and music are resonating with me on an entirely different level now. Countless songs have taken on a completely new texture.

One recent example of this is Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors” album. I’d grown up with an appreciation of the band and enjoyed their hits, but recently I listened to that album again, start to finish – twice – on one of my nighttime walks. It was then that I realized I no longer merely enjoyed those songs, but now I felt those songs on a cellular level.

The emotional and physical anguish.
The anger.
The longing.

All of it visceral and strangely comforting all in a weird sort of dance, their bodies intertwined.